Recently I have been finding out the meanings of a few things that have been said to me over time. Sayings like “look after yourself”, “you have to be your own best friend”, and “you teach people how to treat you”.
So I have discovered that you have to find out how these apply to you and your life.
As a stay at home mum of 3, looking after myself might be; eating (real food) when I am hungry, filing the rough edges of my nails, going to bed early to read (with my miner’s light on my head so not to disturb Builder Boy in his slumber), taking time to do something that makes my heart sing, making the kids do more for themselves. Washing my hair!
Being my own best friend is a little harder; not being so critical of my appearance when comparing myself to Heidi Klum, giving myself enough encouragement to get out of bed (or off the floor), deciding my stress levels are worth managing and if the Fun Ones have two easy dinners in a row it’s not going to cause them to break out in Scurvy or Ricketts.
Now the last one can be like a cryptic clue on a bad night. Teaching people how to treat you? Now that I have Fun Ones I think I understand more clearly and I have the power to demand a certain code of conduct in our house. Insisting on thank you’s and pleases and giving compliments. Compliments are a little harder to get in the habit of, but I find once I started doing it, everyone else falls into line. When things do go wrong the boys know that they will be confined to a bedroom until there is compliance. The tariff upon release, being “sorry, I won’t do it again” or something to that effect. Standing up for yourself and saying “No” can also work well in getting people to respect your boundaries. You are valuable, there is only one of you and you are “a very useful engine” (Thomas the Tank Engine).
Now the challenge being. Assess what your atmosphere is like and have a go at two of the things listed above. See how esteem building it is and carry on?
Today I am really grateful for my friend Jen Pratt. She has helped me view a few parenting topics in a different light. Thanks Jen, you rock!
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